The Decision, A Discernment, and The Maturation of a Woman

Sacred Heart Retreat House

Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles

Alhambra, California

 My room as a growing young female in adolescent age of maturation and development offered a sentiment in change and visible movement of care to my grandmother and mother.  It was evident I was growing into a woman at the age of sixteen and going onto seventeen.  This photo was on my desk as I placed it on my keyboard pad to remind me of the constant care I received from my faith and those who witnessed this faith to me.

My grandmother was so pleased with me to find such a beautiful environment to develop my heart as a woman.  I was now surrounded only with women in this form of association.  It was not coeducational.  And it was only women and young women I interacted with and would hear only FATHER at another dimension of growth as a young woman.  This dimension I found so intimate and so loving, I was drawn ever deeper to what HIS DESIRES for my dependency would lead to and come to as a person willing to be formed and graced by HIS HAND and PROVIDENTIAL CARE!

What is the SACRAMENT and how did I desire to see FATHER and learn from HIS DIVINE HAND what HE would plan for my heart?  Confession was entered into with a SECRET and my heart was exposed to HIS DIMENSION of CARE that I never thought would be lived until I realized all of HIS HAND came forth at a desire from my HEART and HE WAS HOLDING MY HEART!

My desires as a young adolescent female came forth strongly when I heard a SOUND in my HEART and this SOUND was a calm, still voice.  The VOICE came from a reflection of silence.  The sound of SILENCE at a FREEDOM from noise.  I knew this sound and heard it at a distinct care and formed decision and held this sound with me when I would enter into the field of study that was the world, the flesh and THE oppression of noise.

Which woman should I be?

Which woman is me?

How do I know I am a woman and ready to be a woman?

Categorizing a CHARACTER of a person left me the moment I walked into the SILENCE and left the oppression.

I am not a CATEGORY.

I am a person.

Each person has a CHARACTER and my CHARACTER is an IMPRINT of DNA unique by the HAND OF CREATION!