Beginning a Manuscript ~ A CATHOLIC GIRL

A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM - manuscript 1

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

The bell rang ……….. RINGGGGGGG!

And as I ruffled all of my notes from Calculus AP Class and got my books in my backpack, I was struggling to get up with a torn ligament on my left foot.  How did I get into this despicable state of a cast to be worn with mortification for six weeks and with no way to get to class without having to walk all across campus to get to Spanish AP.

“Hi, Mercy.”  And he has a huge smile on his face.

“How can you be so joyous, as I suffer with this declaration of paralysis?!?”

“Here, let me help you.”  As he lifts my arm up and I am suddenly flying out the door with no paralysis and I don’t feel a moment of the discomfort and I am not at all tempted to be as grouchy as I would have been for having to carry the burden of debilitation.

Who shall I say is this friend that brings me up, when he knows when I need it.  And so as I wobble with my cast and crutches and he shares with me his plans for the weekend, I am distracted from the inconvenience of getting through the corridors without running into him and as he in his energetic person becomes apparent to me, he suddenly asks me a question that catches me off-guard.

And as I am just a few feet away from my Spanish AP classroom, he asks me,

“Are there reasons for you to consider the person for coming with them to a very important event?”

…… and I look at him and I am caught a bit tongue-tied…. And I just say, “Why?”

“I want to know your reasons for coming with me to prom.”

….. and ….. the bell rings and I just look at him and say, “I need to get to class, thank you for your help.”

And he walks me to the door and runs to the classroom next door for his French AP class.

~~~~~~

As I wobble into class distracted from his question, I am thinking of his question and asking myself a series of thoughts of where I would tell him and the reason I would tell him and just tell him, “Okay, I will go with you.”  And then I said to myself, how did it come to him asking for a reason, when he never really asked me to go.

My father was aware of my senior year being a very important part of our family, as the oldest daughter of four children being the first to graduate High School, and although he had seen Joseph around when we had our club meetings, I hadn’t really thought about him as a person who would even want to attend an event like a school dance.  Although, I did like the idea, I didn’t really think about who I would go with.  And I think, my parents and grandmother would say, “Yes, he can take you.”

I am not the type to even attend a school function like a dance, but amidst the idea of it being a last year and a senior at that, I am a bit glad that I already have someone asking me.  And besides, when the time comes perhaps we won’t think about it so early in advance. 

We were at the middle of the school year, and a thousand exams to study for and applications for the University, it was kind of nice to know someone had thought of me.

“Conjugate and Translate, Mercy.”

….. and as I answer Mr. Narez’s assigned task, I have this huge smile on my face and my friend Rachel looks at me and whispers, “tell me.”

….. “we’ll talk after class.”

And during the break, Rachel hurriedly asks me, “What was Joseph talking to you about before class?”

“Joseph wants to go to the prom and he asked me to go with him and I didn’t really answer him.”

“Go with him, Mercy, and we’ll ask if a group of us can plan together.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to him about what he was thinking of and we’ll talk later.”

…. And as soon as the bell rang…. And as I struggled with my books, there was Joseph and a huge smile on his face.  And I said, “Well, you certainly are brightening my day as I wobble around.”

And Rachel smiled and walked along with us to our next class.

We were quite a prestigious group of adolescent teenagers and did not comply with what the generation of society tells teens of MTV or next Top Model series.  We spoke against Health Education Class and wrote a petition against the Education Board providing contraception as healthcare for teens and opted out in taking the class with parental permission to receive the credit in a more dignified class to fulfill the requirement.  And this was well-received by the School Board and made an impact on a lot of the students on our identity of senior class-men.  And Joseph seemed to become more a friend to me ever since this class petition and I would see him now and then around school, until this sudden interest in me this afternoon.

As Rachel walked to the next building, and Joseph and I had the next English Literature AP class together, I waved to Rachel and Joseph was still blabbing about what was going to happen with him and his family this coming weekend.

“Mercy, my mom is having a family get-together and I wondered what you would think if I invited you.”

“…..this weekend?”

“Mercy, just stop by next door, your grandmother already knows about it.”

“Wow, Joseph, why are you suddenly being so here with me?”

And then the bell rings again……… RINGGGGG!

And English Literature is on the topic of discussion.

~~~~~~~~

As Mrs. Kyrk talks about the next paper due on our (book of the week).  And I am thinking of all of the assignments we have to do this weekend and I don’t know how to tell him that I will be there.  And I look across the classroom and he’s looking at the board writing the notes down with an intense attention to the present moment of the task and I smile and say to myself, “I think this will be a wonderful weekend.”

And as the day was ready to come to an end and we were assured of the time factor being enough preparation for an assignment well accomplished, I wobbled outside of class and found myself and Joseph talking about what he was thinking of for the prom and what he thought of in planning a group together for the evening.  And so we began to share what we were hoping to see for this once-in-a lifetime event and he sounded excited to share with me that he appreciated all of the insights I brought in class today about the book of the week and wanted to know if I would work with him at the library after school and write the assignment together and opt on a partner assignment.

And suddenly, I realized Joseph had become more than a friend to me and yet, he didn’t really answer my question about the group for prom.  And I ….

“Mercy, I’ll have to go to practice this evening after the library and I wondered if you would be able to see me come play tomorrow.”

“Joseph, did you ask me to go to the prom with you?”

“I did, Mercy, and when you asked me what I would like to do for the evening, I agreed with you.”

“I can go to the prom with you, but I don’t know if I can go to your game tomorrow, you know how I don’t understand the game.”

“My parents are planning to be there, Mercy.”

“That’s wonderful, however, I have a really big exam I need to study for.

                And I have a Mock Trial to practice for with Robert.

                And I am a Prosecution Attorney, this year, and it’s a bigger role to play this year.

                I hope this doesn’t ruin your plans, Joseph?”

“I must be overwhelming you, Mercy.”

“I am a bit surprised by your assumption that I would go to the prom with you, and you didn’t really ask me, but told me I was going with you.”

“You’re right, Mercy, I am sorry I assumed and didn’t really ask.”

“Rachel and I wanted to make it a group, and if you like the idea, then I think it will work out.”

“Sounds good, Mercy, and we’ll touch base some more as the event gets closer.”

“Great, I will be working on another assignment that’s due tomorrow and will take a rain-check on the partner assignment for English Literature?”

“Very well, Mercy, we’ll schedule this for another day.”

“I’ll see you later, then.”

“Have a good day, Mercy.”

And I wobble home with a lot of a full day has to offer for a Catholic Girl on her senior year of high school.

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM - Manuscript 2
By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

My first day of High School was a distance from what I had longed for as a person who had finally entered into a stage when I knew every decision I made would determine my future.

And as I had always dreamed that someday, I would meet someone who would love me, I did not know when or how this would happen.

I am a walking distance from a brand New High School and was glad to see such a stately new building ready for me to walk into the doors of a public school that I would make my mark in.  And if God would destine me to meet him here, He would tell me in His own time and own plan for my heart and destiny.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was Joseph, my classmate from Junior High, whom I had grown familiar with as we would team for the Spelling Bee Contest and I enjoyed how he would make me laugh when it was the bell of the bees to spell every word just in time before the buzzzzzzz…….

I was glad to see his funny face again at a High School, which I was still getting my familiarity with and his playfulness made the High School a place I knew would be the next four years of what God would instore for my hopes of what I would become.  And as a student with high academic honors from a Junior High that set my footsteps ready for these next four years, the stage was much bigger and the characters I would meet anew would place the promise of my future destiny at place.

“Joseph, are you enjoying your classes?”

“Mercy, the principal has already asked me to be a prominent speaker for the Council of our school and she asked me to find someone to work with in getting this school ready and founded with what this Alma Mater will entail.”

“What are your plans, Joseph?”

“I was hoping you would help me.”

“Well, I have a memory of what we had to do at my elementary school and what we did in choosing a school mascot and the colors, but I don’t recall an Alma Mater.”

“Would you be willing to work by my side in the School Council, Mercy?”

“I would like that, Joseph, perhaps this may be my way of contributing in the first foundations of the school……. Can you imagine, this could be historical…… I mean, it IS a significant time to be the first classmen of this High School…… don’t you agree.”

“I wouldn’t find any other person who would stand by my side in getting the footworks started, Mercy.”

“When’s the first meeting, Joseph?”

“Well, I have already chosen my President, now I am going to need your help in finding the other council members and I thought maybe you could list some candidates and I will share with you a list of my favorable friends who would make this a great effort for everyone.”

“Sounds ….. “

“Do you need some help today after school in getting the banner for the First Council meeting?”

“Maybe this is how we can determine which one of the candidates would be a great fit for our council, what if we ask the list of people we have in mind to meet after school to make the banner and then the two of us can see what we come up with………do you think today is enough notice for everyone to help?”

“You’re right, Mercy, we need to give the people a heads up and enough notice for them to be a part of the meeting.”

“Great, so the First Council will be making a banner and we’ll schedule it for next week.”

“I’ll give the list of people to you, tomorrow and we can talk about it then.”

“Have a good day and I’ll see you then.

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 3

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

The best day had finally come of my last year of the very prominent time of my high school endeavors, and what did I know when in my moment of dissent, there was an ascent and the heights of this jubilation became evident when my parents told me Joseph had a surprise for me and wanted to enhance the expectation as they kissed me on the forehead before I was off to school.

I knew Joseph since junior high when we were chosen to represent the School Spelling Bee for the Unified School District and when he and I would drive to the school event, his parents would drive the two of us as we practiced and memorized all of the words in the dictionary from A to Z.  And when we won second place for our Junior High, everyone knew that the first place was always with him. 

“Veneration ……… V – E – N- E – R – A – T- I – O – N”

“Magnificent…….. M – A – G – N – I – F – I – C – E – N – T”

“Romanesque……. R – O – M – A – N – E – S – Q – U – E”

Where are the words and what are the defining moments, as I remember the day when my parents told me that someday I will be loved by a very good man and how they prepared me for this was their guard for me and my heart.  When I found myself enjoying another human being and freely being with this person with the love of his parents and my parents loving him and the whole family aware there was something happening and yet, a distance was free enough for the two individuals to become who they are meant to be; I knew when the day would come we would be fully ready.  What do we as individuals ask for in life?  A life of magnificent veneration for a Romanesque architectural beauty?  What we build in our lives is this distance of what we long for as human beings and the distance is at the grasp of every heart who is guarded by love of family and parents who care for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was so pleased, when on this day I returned to my usual place in class and there at my desk was Joseph with a smile I will photograph into my being as the reason why my heart was light and promising that day I began my day and the embrace of my parents left me.  And I knew there was something significant about this human being that only God would reveal to me and somehow envelope in me as the reason I am and the meaning of who I am.  Joseph always seemed to know when to be there for me and this did not at all affect my friendships with other human beings.  In fact, there was a respectable distance to allow the two of us to develop into the human beings we are now. 

And he always knew the right moment to come to me amidst our friends and peers.

“Mercy, I have a sister and she needs you to come over to the house to help with the party.”

I knew he had a sister and brothers, but amidst our academics he never talked to me much about them outside of our responsibilities in the academics.  “I am so sorry, I wanted to let you know today, Joseph, that I would not be able to be there.”

                “Mercy, I thought we discussed how you were needed for this feast.”

                “We didn’t discuss much, Joseph, an individual doesn’t just come over like they have never met eachother and I have never even met your siblings.”

                “My parents are expecting you, Mercy.”

                “Please convey to them that the invitation is wonderful of them to think of me, however, my parents and I are unable to attend.”

                “Mercy, I will let them know and thank you for giving me the fine decline.”

                “Sure, Joseph, see you later.”

I knew from then on, the person of whom my heart was inclined to would be someone who knew how to ask me and when to ask me and where to ask me and this was where my friends come into the providential plan of circumstance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                Jeff had known about Joseph coming to the school game asking about me and also knew there were no formal promises to anyone.  We never showed any intentions that was apparent to any person that something was between me and any young man outside of an academic relationship.  And so my friends were apparent, when they noticed Joseph was seemingly in my presence more often than usual.  And so people found this as a question to whether there were developments occurring.

                “Hi, Jeff.”

                “Mercy, I wondered if you thought about prom.”

                “Not really, too many things to take care of…”

                “Mercy, I wondered if you would consider going with me.”

                “Sure, I’ll think about it and talk to my family about it.”

                “Great, I’ll see you and let me know what your parents say.”

                “I’ll let you know, and I’ll see you at Calculus.”

~~~~~~~~~

So here I am at English Literature and I am reading my favorite part and climax when the discussion on, Of Mice and Men, begins to rile up the whole class in a heated discourse on how men should never come forth so strongly with any woman.  And how a mouse who speaks forth never is a man.  “It sounds like two idiot individuals who were in a barn alone and didn’t know how to see things in the light of decency and grace.” 

                “What would you suggest these two characters are saying about human beings, Mercy?”

                “Ignorance is bliss……?”

                And the whole class roars with ……. A disgusted laughter.

                “It’s evident these two individuals had no capacity in learning the knowledge.”

                “What do you mean, they both knew there were proper ways to care for themselves….. I mean look at how he would take care of             the mouse and pet it.”

                “Yeah, in a stalkish way.”

                “I would say that in order for any human being to know a capacity of decency and reverence towards any human being, there         would need to be a well-grounded family and it is very evident that these two individuals did not have parents who loved them                 and perhaps, were a distance of love for any person for not caring for their child.”

                “Well, he was a dumbo who never had a mother.”

                “….and she was a prey to his stupidity.”

                “Class, we are going to continue this discussion and what you have reflected on will be an essay question for your upcoming exam and I expect your insights on this topic to be a discourse for a future group assignment.”

                …….. and the whole class groans….. amidst another addition of tests and exams.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Mercy, what was Joseph talking to you about in class last period?”

“Rachel, he wanted to ask me to go to the prom, but he came across too strongly and so I just told him no to some party he asked me to help his family with.”

“I am sorry, Mercy, I thought he would have been more respectful.”

“Well, I won’t be seeing him around, I told him strongly.”

“Mercy, what are you going to do for lunch later?

“I have to finish a project and I am going to Mrs. Kyrk’s classroom to work on it after I have my lunch.”

“I’ll be at the cafeteria and meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later.”

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – manuscript 4

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

Does a young woman know when there are moments of essential and divine matters in the workings of her heart attuned to the Heart of a GOOD MAN?  As I remember all of the intensities of love, I have only seen one so gracious as when a young man sees God and loves Him and ONLY HIM!

There are hearts so distant from this lifetime and hearts that desire so much more.  Here are moments when a young woman desires a heart consumed for love, and how her heart is in union with a God who loves her, will be a working of His Divine Hand speaking for her and guiding her towards Him and ONLY HIM!

I was saluted this morning from the captain of the basketball team as he walked on by and as I saw only a friendly face, I knew the desire of my heart would never be satisfied unless he spoke to me as a Bridegroom made of HEARTS attuned to Heaven.  And so it was………

                Amidst the list of consuming possibilities during my senior year, there was only one direction in which I knew my heart would follow and where this would lead me would be a young man who knew where and how he would come forth like a new rising for Heaven and only Heaven.  I was considering a doctorate of young hearts, as I watched my siblings find their satisfaction with their peers and as I watched them find their enjoyment in this, I neither wondered nor consumed my heart in their associations.

                 “Hi Mercy.”
                 “Hi Joseph, how are you?”

                “My parents found you at the school alone waiting for someone and they wanted me to know if you needed a ride home or something."

                “No, thank you, Joseph, my parents are here, I am waiting for them and that’s why I am alone.”

                “I hope everything is going well with you, during this last year of high school?”

                “I got my acceptance letter for the University of Notre Dame, and have a scholarship waiting for me, that’s why my parents are at this meeting.  They wanted me to wait outside as they discussed some financial matters and felt it was better for me to not be present.”

                “That sounds like an opportunity and a blessing.”

                “I would only see it as a blessing, if this is where God finds his desires fulfilled in me in attending this University.”

 
                “What would make you wonder if perhaps God may be calling you to find another way in this journey?”

 

               “What would you wonder?”

                “Well, my family and I are attending a celebration this coming month and I have seriously considered a reason for a possibility outside of this realm.”

                “I know when this is brought forth, I am certain a possibility will no longer a possibility if I don’t answer it now.  And what I only know at this present is an open door to a University that holds a faith that I treasure.”

                “Mercy, would you consider a celebration as a door?”

                “A celebration is always a celebration for a reason.”

                “I would like to ask you to come with me to this celebration, Mercy.”

                “I am not forthright enough, to stand by your side in attending this celebration, I’m sorry.”

                “Forthright is not the question here, Mercy, the providence of a hand is being offered to you at your grasp.”

                “Shall I say, yes and trust that your confidence in me is well received even by you?”

                “I would receive your yes with a foretold and accept your trust in me as a sign.”

And Notre Dame walked on by.

                “Mom and Dad, this is Joseph and his parents would like to invite the family to a celebration."

                “Joseph, we know your family and we have heard about the celebration.”

                “Mercy is being requested to be present at this celebration and her confidence in me has brought forth a great significance in the eyes of many.”

                “We are very proud of Mercy and would be honored to be there, Joseph.”

                “Awesome, we’ll be sure to be in contact.”

                “I believe Mercy will be fine and where she is going will be seen by many.”

                “I agree, Mr. and Mrs. Laury, and we will be sure the celebration is completed.”

                “Well, I’ll leave you to your family, Mercy and we’ll be in touch.”

                “Sounds good, Joseph, see you J”

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CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 5
By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

When a Catholic Girl receives a Sacrament and the Sacrament is received in the state of the quality of the state, do I as a young lady respond to the dignity of this state?  I am a Confirmed Roman Catholic and this Seal on my head, has determined a lot of my decisions in high school.  And this action of grace from the Sacrament, instituted by Christ, directs my path in all aspects of my life. 

So Prom Nights are not essentially a dilemma for me as a young lady in adolescence.  And it shouldn’t be a dilemma for me as a young lady.  It is an enjoyable evening.  And we go all out for the evening to enjoy comradery and friendship with peers we have learned to become the human beings we are. So when I am before the face of God and before the face of who I AM, will I find myself disgusted to grace I received in the Sacrament?

No.

I have a free will.

What if in my free will, my intellect is darkened by eternal distinct acts from people or individuals around my vicinity as with attending a public high school, will this affect my free will?  Will the cardinal virtues of fortitude, prudence, temperance and justice and the theological virtue of faith, hope and charity take its course in every act of free will? 
 The constancy of my decisions will come to a point.  And if in my inconstancy I face a decision so determined to go against my dignity as a human being; there will be a distinct role of my family and those who love me to remain with me.

“Hi, Rachel.”

“Mercy, are there people asking you about prom?”

Not really, why?”

“There were some people in my class talking about something that made me really uncomfortable.”

“Rachel, are you aware that there are teen pregnancies in our school?”

“My parents won’t let me go.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, is there a specific relationship that is causing your parents to caution you?”

“The people I overheard in my class were talking about things that I don’t feel ready to do.”

“And teen pregnancies mean their ready?!?!!????”

“Mercy, when is a pregnancy ever ready?”

“For one thing, we need a mom and dad with obligatory responsibilities to care for a child, and do you really believe any of us have this properly ordered?”

“I can barely pass this exam.”

"Seriously, Rachel, those people are not thinking straight.  And if your family won’t let you enjoy an evening with good friends because of those people, then that’s their love for your dignity.”
 
“Are you going, Mercy?”
 
“I am
And believe me, Rachel, I want to enjoy myself and get the dress and look nice for a very good evening.”

"Thank you, Mercy, I will mention to my parents you plan on going and if they know you’re going, they’ll give me their blessing.”

“Great, Rachel….. we’ll talk more.”

(hug, hug)……OFF TO CLASS!

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 6

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

“Who went to the prom?”

"I didn’t.”

“I did, and I was surprised to see Mercy there.”

“Mercy went to the prom?”

“Yeah, she was with the list of people who were on the committee.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize Mercy went.”

“Who’d she go with?”

“Rachel was with her the whole time, I don’t know?”

“That’s great, I hope they had a good time.”

“Yeah, they did and I don’t know what she thought of it.”

“Ask her.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mercy, I heard you were at the prom……. What’d you think of it?”

“I went.”

“What did you think of it?”

“It was not as elegant as I had hoped it would be for dressing up so extravagantly.”

“Did you dance with anyone?”

“I danced and we sat and talked with the people around our group.”

“Did you guys get a limo and go all out?”

“No, we carpooled and met at a nice restaurant and drove to the dance.”

“Would you call it a memorable night?”

“We took pictures.”

“Can I see?”

“Sure…. I don’t have it with me, though.”

“Okay, Mercy, …..well, I wanted to know what you thought of it.”

“Are you glad you went?”

“It was okay, and to dress up and the excitement of it all was more of a climax.”

“Thanks, Mercy.”

“Sure. J”

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 7

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.


“Hi, Rachel.”
“Hi, Mercy.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing…… those girls I was telling you about went to the prom and did what they were talking about.”

"……. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Mercy, how could they think they have a heart after finding this appropriate for their body?”

“Were they laughing or crying?”

“They were talking about it like it was so ……..”

“I’m sorry to hear the difficulty.”

“My parents would never forgive me if I did anything that would cause them to lose confidence in me.”

“There are families who don’t see this and actually find this a turning point for their kids.”

“I think that’s disgusting and they aren’t a family.”

“I agree.”

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CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM - Manuscript 8

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

 

“Where are you?”

“I’m right here, Jeff.”

“Mercy, are you my partner or aren’t you?”

“Let’s dance.”

So when it came to the point as I sat across from him at the dinner table amidst the group and all of us knew there would be a point, it was made clear that as young men and women we are to listen to one another.  And Jeff heard me.  And I heard Jeff.  We were here for a dance.  And he was my dance partner.  And I was his.

When is the point disfigured and the heart is no longer heard?

When outward forces make a simple dance more than a dance, you know man and woman have been bombarded by a lie.  For what God has created is in His Creation a knowledge.  The nature of man and woman are to be one.  And what Mercy heard that evening, was what Jeff also heard.  A dance.

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 9

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

 

“Mercy and I planned the whole evening and the group agrees for the safety of everyone and the trust we have in our friendship, we will stick to the rules of the game.”

“What rules?”

“Some guys were talking about getting some beer and had a big brother who was willing to get it for us.”

“When did big brother become big brother?”

“What the hell?!!!!”

~~~~~~ 

“Mercy, the girls and I were thinking…….”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you, and Rachel and I already made plans.”

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 10

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

 “Lee, who’s that guy with the other guy?”

“I don’t know…..”

“Lee, they look like…..”

“I don’t know (agitated)."

“They say those guys are going to the prom.”

“………. L”

“I don’t know if I could go …… with them dancing next to me.”

“Can we do something about it, without sounding like bigots?”

“Bigots?”

“We’re not disrespecting anyone…. A bigot speaks like a bully.”

“What we’re doing is requiring a descent amount of dignity at the evening of our senior event of the year!”

“And…… there is no decency in allowing such behavior.”

“Well, how do you find their behavior descentless?”

“Well, if I saw a boy and girl having sex in the bathroom at the prom that would be just as indecent as a guy and a guy dancing in the middle of the dance floor with their arms around eachother.”

“Well, the law right now tells people no one has a gender.”

“I would ask for a right of privacy.”

“……. What do you mean?”

“I have never been exposed to that type of interaction and it’s a violation to me in being exposed to such indecency.”

“To them it’s not indecent.”

“Well, to me it is and it’s not fair to any of us if we miss prom just because they can’t keep their relationship private.”

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A CATHOLIC GIRL & PROM – Manuscript 11

By Meryl Viola Bravo, M.A.

 

“Mercy, is there a reason why you are upset with me?”

“I am finding people asking about you and me being more than just friends and the presumption is making me feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry, and I will remain more of just a friend who isn’t around so much.”

“Thanks, J.”